Attitude will determine your success. When bad things happen… Get Over It!!
Get over it!!
What a way to start a video. Get over it!
Let me try another one: “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
It’s actually one of the sections out of my book, Speaking is Selling – 51 Tips Your Mother Taught You.
Bad things happen in business. Bad things happen in life. Get over it.
0ne of the biggest issues that I have seen, and heck I’ve experienced, I’ve done it, I’ve done it many times: is that when those bad things happen we want to hang on to that bad experience. Not only do we want to hang on to it, we want to tell everybody about this terrible thing that just happened. We want them to know how wrong it was. We want them to know how hurt we were. We want people to know how bad that other person was. Get over it.
Let’s think about this for a minute.
Let’s say it takes 5 minutes to tell your story, and you tell 10 people, now, 5 minutes times 10 people; you just wasted 50 minutes of your life, and all that time from all those other people, who whether you want to admit or not, probably really didn’t care, and really didn’t want to hear about your hardship.
I know this may come across sounding a little bit harsh, but I will tell you I’ve gone through some what I thought were terrible events in my life. One in particular, it probably took me somewhere between 6 and 8 months to get over, to get past, to let go of some of the hurt. Even then it wasn’t really gone. It lingered long after that.
It wasn’t until someone sat me down and said, “Look, how much time are you going to waste with this. It’s over. It’s done with. It’s time to move on.”
Since then when bad things have happened, every time it takes less and less for me to get over it, to get past it. What I had to discover, and I will admit I discovered it the hard way, is that pain and suffering we put ourselves through doesn’t help us. It does no good. It doesn’t help move us towards the future.
From a business perspective this can be very very dangerous for an organization. Something bad happens.
It may only happen to 1 or 2 people in an organization, but then they have to tell 2 friends, and they tell 2 friends, and they tell 2 friends and before you know it the entire organization’s talking about this bad thing that happened.
Even though the event that occurred may have happened months ago we like to continue to give it new life.
Do you give past events new life? Think about it this way. Someone does something negative. Someone does something bad. Someone hurts you and your organization. Every time you relive that you are giving power to that person who did that thing.
Why are you letting them continue to hurt you?
That’s what you’re doing. You’re letting them continue to inflict that pain and suffering.
I have a tip, a rule. I call it a rule for me now. I invite you to use it as a rule yourself. I call it the 1 by 60.
When something bad happens I’m only allowed to tell 1 person, and I’m not allowed to talk about it for more than 60 seconds; one person, 60 seconds.
Ideally I’m going to pick a person who will listen to me, be empathetic, but not engage in any further discussion.
Here’s the other side of this, people love drama. They love the getting down in the muck. I call it “staying in the yuck”.
Don’t tell people your story who are going to get down into the yuck and get you talking about it even more.
You’ve got 1 minute with 1 person; 60 seconds times 1 person. That’s it.
I’m not saying it’s not going to take longer to get over it, but I do invite you to stop reliving it, move on, take the next step, move into the future, learn from what happened, don’t allow that thing to happen again, grow with it, become better faster.
Speak well, live well, I hope that helped. See you soon.