Your face is a huge asset but it is also a potential liability.  This speaking tip helps you make sure what the other person hears is constant with what they see from you. In many cases your success may be undermined and betrayed by your own face. There are three primary ways your face can betray you, and 2 tips for making sure your face and words are congruent.


Video Transcript:

Your face is a huge asset.

It’s also a potential liability.

When was the last time your face betrayed you when you were speaking to someone else? When did it give off a message that was inconsistent with the situation?

Most people don’t realize there are three primary ways that your face can betray you. Regardless if you’re in a one-on-one sales presentation, making a boardroom presentation, or standing in front of a thousand people, your face tells a story.

Does it tell the same story that your words are telling?

Three ways your face can betray you: first of all, your smile. Your smile is a wonderful thing, as long as you’re smiling at the right time. You ever seen someone presenting, and they were talking about a really sad event in their life?

“This is such a terrible event. That was a really bad day, and everything was terrible. Eventually, I came through it.”

The words and the face are not matching up. They’re smiling when they should be maybe a little bit more serious. That doesn’t mean every sad story and every down situation has to be presented in a serious way. Just means your face with your words need to be consistent.

How about this one? This one’s always a favorite.

Someone is talking about a product, or a service, or a book. They’re making their sales presentation:

“I’m so excited about this product. This is a great product. In fact, this is one of the best one products on the market.”

You have this desire to say: “Are you really excited about this?”

If you’re really excited about this, maybe you should tell your face. If you’re excited about something, show people that you’re excited. Get a little bounce in your step. move around a little bit. Get your hands involved. By all means, make sure you’re smiling when you’re talking about something you’re excited about.

Be congruent between your words and your face, and understand what’s happening.

In terms of face and smile, as a side note, sort of a bonus tip, sometimes, when you are thinking, your  face may not be perceived as a thinking face. I know many of my clients have a situation where when they’re really intently listening to the other person, they will get a sour face or a scowling face. It’s not that they’re upset. It’s not that they’re disengaged. It just happens to be their thinking face.

You need to be aware of how the other person is perceiving what’s going on on your face.

We’re going to come back for that one in a minute. There’s a trick to get around that.

The third way that your face can really betray you is your eyes and your forehead. Your eyes and forehead do amazing things. A lot of times, they do it subconsciously. Do your eyes smile? Do they frown? Do you curl up your forehead and do weird things with your face? You really want to be conscious of how you are presenting, not just verbally, but physically to your audience.

There’s two techniques that will help you solve this dilemma of Is my Face Betraying Me?

First of all, record yourself. Record yourself even by yourself, making your presentation. Quite often, the little facial gestures will show up even when you’re by yourself. If possible, record yourself actually making a presentation. When possible, I always record myself both audio and video. I go back and watch it, and I look for anything that’s a little bit disjointed.

Here’s the second technique. This can be a little bit scary. I call that it the Family Check.

Ask your family, the people that are around you all the time,  to provide you feedback on what your face is doing. You may be very surprised.

You may find that your kids tell you, “Well, you got that face on you and it looks like you’re mad, but you’re not really mad, you’re just thinking.” They may say, “Sometimes, when I’m talking to you, it looks like you’re looking off into space.” You’re not really looking off into space, but that’s how you concentrate on what you’re hearing.

By receiving that feedback from your family, those people closest to you, you’re going to start to understand what your customers, your staff, your seminar attendees, are seeing from you. Take that feedback and incorporate it, learn from it, and understand.

This is not an easy process. It’s going to take time for you to adjust and make sure your face is always congruent with your words, but the payoff is huge. Now, you’re going to be delivering a consistent and congruent message any time you speak.

Have fun recording yourself. Well, it’s not really fun.

Have fun with the Family Check. Just be prepared for what you may hear.

Watch your success when you’re speaking to other people skyrocket.