When communicating with others, your wording choices give them an indication of how concerned you are with their needs. Monitoring your I/You ratio is a tool to help monitor your effectiveness.
You may have heard me discuss the value and importance of the word “you”. Anytime you’re having a conversation or presenting to someone else, “you” is one of the most important words to be using, because it connects you to that other person.
In other videos, I’ve talked about how you want to avoid grouping your audience together with phrases like “you guys, you’s guys, y’all, all y’all”. You want to avoid those and just use the word “you”.
Here’s a way to gauge at the next level how effective you are. We know we want to use the singular “you” to touch an connect with each individual person. You also want to make sure that you are talking about them more than you’re talking about yourself. This is called the I-you ratio. This is a technique that I picked up from some of my coaches in the Speaker’s Edge.
The I/You ratio is basically how many times you are saying, “I, me or we” versus “you and yours”.
In any conversation at least 80% of the time it should be “you and yours” and only about 20% of the time, “I, me or we”. By watching your I-you ratio and making sure it’s appropriate, you’re going to do a better job of connecting with those other people.
Record some conversations and listen back to them and count your I’s and you’s, see where you fall in in the I-you ratio.